And / Or

Esther Derby's recent post about "but / and" reminds me of an "and / or" reframing I find useful. When I give myself a deadline to achieve several things and have high expectations of how much is possible, I often find that I slip into a frame of mind where I'm thinking like this:
success = completing this AND completing that AND completing the other thing AND...
failure = not completing this OR not completing that OR not completing the other thing OR...

When I'm thinking like this there's only one possible way to feel successful, and many ways to feel unsuccessful - even if there are factors outside my control that make completing a task impossible. When I catch myself doing this try to I reframe the situation* like this:
success = completing this OR completing that OR completing the other thing OR...
failure = not completing this AND not completing that AND not completing the other thing AND...

In this healthier frame of mind I can get on with tackling a mountain of work without the fear of failure hanging over me. Unsurprisingly I also work better when I'm not weighing myself down with excessive expectations.

* Obviously I have less control over other people's expectations of me or the deadlines that they set, but that doesn't prevent me from reframing my own point of view. If I don't meet someone else's over-ambitious target then reframing my point of view allows me to take pride in what I did achieve, and to also to consider (free of shame or guilt) whether the target I was aiming for was realistic or how I might achieve more in a future similar situation.