Ok I admit it, Agile methods don't work

How could I (and many others) have been so mistaken? With hindsight it's obvious that a team could never collaborate to create working software without a plan to to tell them what to do and when to do it.Or without a complete set of Requirements Specification documentation, contractually approved by the customer in advance of any actual development. And how did I possibly think anything could be released without a long test-and-fix cycle first? It makes me shiver to think how dangerously irresponsible I was. But that's all behind me now: from here on I will only work in a CMM Level 5-certified environment.

Not ;-)